Those of us, who have been single, know the drill.
The constant limbo going FROM the desire to feel someone's loving arms around you TO the decision to totally ignore romance in your life and focus on your career. You either read articles on how to be independent or fall into a feedback loop from hell listening to love songs and remembering that last time you felt appreciated and wanted. This limbo drags you along, makes you feel like sh*t and honestly puts you in a dangerous place.
FROM HELL TO HEAVEN
LIVES WITHIN YOU
Once in the limbo, you can swing all the way to one of the extremes. This is the time where you might lose all sense of values that you cherish and you might do things that will shape your character bluntly. You might come to identify with Plato and become skeptical towards romantic love and engage in passionless non-engaging endeavours. You will submit all control over your love life to external factors and stop accepting any responsibility. Well, truth be told, this is the absolute recipe for disaster.
HIDES IN IGNORANCE
This is when you get to expect and neglect. You try to impose friendship on people, who might be obliterated by devastating love for you. Doing that without accepting the fact that if friendship is being imposed means you ignore the fact it never existed in the first place. As a superior, you do not treat your intimate friends as equal and this eventually leads to you losing them, thus being left empty. In fact, you just forget the most important ingredient in the recipe for love: take care of your love for others. There is no such thing as good or bad lover, we are all good lovers and we have the utmost responsibility to take care of our love for ourselves and towards others without expectations in return. It is all a question of your own utility - you must live for the other, if you would live for yourself (Seneca).
Another truth is that this is precisely what the road towards rehabilitation must be like. You need to walk it and you need to accept it as part of the drill. However, once you have started having these thoughts, you will also make space for the thought of romance going back into your life. With your values being reorganized in priority, you will sense a little tingling feeling rising up within you. The feeling you might be ready to love again.
Until you have found your Mr./Ms. Perfect, you need to dance alone.
Because Mr./Ms. Perfect is not a checklist kind of person. They are the kind of people, who will make you feel like this
- enrich you because he will enter with ease in all the friendships you already had
- make you feel fortunate enough to have “fallen in love with” your Friend
- you will become his lover without thinking or caring how he earns his living
- you will have no duty to be his lover, there will be no claims, no shadows of necessity
- you will have no jealousy of sharing the friendship
- the love will be shared on continuous, mutual forgiveness
- your love towards this person will turn out to be an extension of your own self-love